Frustrated today and angry for some reason. Not at anyone/thing in particular, probably myself. Feel like I’m wasting my life. The inside of my head is screaming at my inaction and apathy. I feel stagnant and like I need to get things moving. I hope this does not make me difficult to be around and I’m paranoid about giving off negative vibes. Don’t want to feel anger. Ugh.
Life’s is a funny old thing isn’t it? Today, completely out of the blue, I decided that I would like to write something down about my life. Put down something, anything, that would actually try to make some sense of the last decade (and a bit) that has changed me and my life so completely. So, with a deep breath and a heart full of apprehension, here is my first post on my first ever blog. And it’s dedicated to anyone who has ever felt depressed, not just a bit blue from time-to-time though. No, I’m talking to anyone that has ever felt as though they were standing on the outside of life, looking in at the other people, getting on with things and being happy, being ‘normal’. To anyone who has ever felt like complete shit because, yet again, for the third day running, they can’t lift their sorry, sad, aching body from their beds because the thought of facing the world is simply too terrifying to face. To anyone who has given up, dropped out, shut down, turned off. To anyone who feels that their precious voice has been taken from them because of one stupid word. To anyone who has ever felt like going to the top of a cliff and screaming at the top of their lungs, just to let the anger and sadness and pain go somewhere other than inside themselves. And to anyone who feels alone. You’re not, I feel it too.